Art phail?

It's kind of sad how this is the finished product.

Thought we would have done so much better.

Sigh. Should have taken a picture of the painting so far. Hope it's beautiful by Monday.

What the hell...

Tonight is going down in the books as one of the most memorable nights of my life.

It's a little embarrassing and all too exciting to share over the internet. =/

It was just plain fucking weird.

And I won't be able to see a lot of the people I know in the same way anymore...

Just thought I'd get this down so I'll remember the date, if not entirely what had happened. =D

Bad Timing

I never thought I'd feel like this for you.

Through all the harassment, all the name-calling, manipulation and overall distain towards you, I sympathize now as if I had more respect for you than I could ever have.

Because I'm very, terribly sorry.

First of all, let me apologize for bringing up the subject. I had no idea that you had your arm around him because you were trying to comfort him on his recent "break-up". I thought you guys were just gay with each other. Although the former could very naturally lead to the latter, and may already have, it was wrong of me to assume such a position when you merely looked the part.

Secondly, I regret leading you on to further explain the situation you've unwillingly falsified to stop be from staring at you like a child stares at mating baboons. I could have controlled my facial muscles to express a more subtle tone of absolute fucking horror as you graphically illustrated the predicament at hand, even when you kept going deeper into speculation, my face just stretched to a further degree of distress. I also partly blame Darrell for this, because he seemed pretty choked as well and I couldn't help but mirror his expression. You know how that goes.

Thirdly, I beseech your forgiveness for taking the term "fuck buddy" too literally. I thought it meant something like
n. A sex partner to whom you have no special attachment. A person you occasionally have sex with who is not your S.O. - Urban Dictionary
I had no idea you meant the term as in um, absolutely nothing. I should have known and I was a fool for believing that you were credible in using such a term.

Lastly, and most importantly, I DEEPLY RESENT TIMMY'S PRESENCE. If he hadn't been there, and if Brandon Wong hadn't passed by in the exact moment, none of this mess would have caught wind and blew down the hallway where the windmill of madness stood forth. If your group of friends didn't happen to walk by the very moment Timmy brought Brandon Wong into a questioning fit, the truth wouldn't have been nudged awake and you wouldn't have blushed so hard when we all found out how untrue/partly-true/very true it was.

It was probably just a fluke. Bad timing had screwed us all. But as I saw your heart break I realized how much I actually cared that it did, and I just wrote this post to document my confusion because it is fucking up my sense of practicality worse than rumours did yours. The worst thing is that though it may appear otherwise, I hardly feel a note of sarcasm as I pour out my apologies to you. I thank the heavens everyday that I am much too apathetic for this to remain anything but temporary.

And if my guesstimation is correct, I apologize in advance for not making good on those DQ Blizzards I promised you. xD

(Remind me just in case?)

Productivity

For the past week or so, I've been putting off school, work, social life, ignoring them almost completely. Instead, I've been:

Napping.

Eating.

Drawing & Painting.

Texting... =/

Sucking up to teachers.

Pissing the hell out of Chambers.

Pissing the hell out of Chaput and the Cho-ster.

Doing the trig-dance.

Daydreaming.

Not blogging.

Making beautiful art.


Sadly, it's a lot more productivity than what I usually come up with.

English Bay Layout

I made the header out of a photograph of English Bay I took last last summer.

Sigh and those were the good old days, when stress was meaningless and cupcakes weren't fattening.

Maybe it's time to snap out of my reverie and get back to life.

Maybe not.

but i don't want to

My parents keep implying to me that I'll never get anywhere in life if I don't make up my mind on what to do.

They kept pushing me to decide what I want to do with my life, and when I'd pick something, they'd fall back and make fun of me for being too stupid to pick something professional.

I've thought it too many times through and my mind has never actually changed. And now it brings me to tears because they have no idea what it is I really want.

I DON'T WANT TO DO ANYTHING.

I don't want to grow up and leave to pursue my own life. I don't want to apply for scholarships, keep up with homework, work for high grades and course credits, graduate, go to university, hand out resumes, get a promotion, climb the corporate fucking ladder. I don't want my own life. I don't want to make my parents proud. They can go fuck themselves.

And I'd much rather live in my parents' basement for the rest of my life than raise my own children.

What do I really want to do with my life? What I've been doing this whole time. I just want to make my webpage, play with cell phones, camwhore, eat junk food, take the bus, shop online, read novels, drink tea, be taken care of, and be content. I'm so happy with my life. I don't want to be independent. I'm not after anything.

AND DOES THAT MEAN I'M A FUCKING FAILURE?!



it does.

RA-RA-RASPUTIN

HE COULD PREACH THE BIBLE LIKE A PREACHER

FULL OF ECSTASY AND FIRE

BUT HE WAS ALSO THE KIND OF TEACHER

WOMEN WOULD DESIRE

Dayum, girl

I was on the skytrain, coming home from Vancouver. I was squinting in the sunlight and tried to look at my reflection from the plastic panel in front of the seat before me. I also saw the girl in front of me, and she looked at my face through the plastic panel as well. I thought she suspected me of staring at her so I leaned backwards and settled back in my seat.

She suddenly whirled around and looked in my direction, but I averted my eyes as she did so so she wouldn't think I was being a creeper. She turned back, but whirled around again and looked at me directly in the eye and started speaking to me in Mandarin. I was all shocked and said like "sorri sorri me no tok tok" and she just laughed and said "Sorry I just wanted to ask you something. I'm a design student for fashion and I'm looking for models for my work. I noticed how you did your makeup and I was wondering if you'd be ineterested in being one of them."

I think I was holding up the most reeetarded facial expression while she spoke to me. I thought she was very pretty, though she almost wore no makeup, and I got all jealous at her perfect skin. I hardly listened to her at all. I ended up just nodding a couple times and she gave me a piece of paper for me to put down my number and email. I smiled awkwardly and introduced myself, shook her hand before she abruptly left the train. She departed and I was left realizing that the whole crowded train was still eyeing me. All I could respond with was the biggest smirk on my face because a hot girl just asked me for my number, bitchessss.