Caffeine is not my friend

I'm so fucking tired right now.

I had about 3 hours of sleep since last last night. I was working Far Coast and I drank all this coffee and when it came time for bed I couldn't sleep, for once. I stayed up until about 6:30am and then the alarm rang at 9:00am, and I was maaaaad. Dx But it didn't surprise me too much since coffee was supposed to be a stimulant O_O just that they never work on me. I was super sleepy when I got up this morning after a night of reading and surfing random pr0n sites, but I had to get ready, since I was meeting Stanley <33333 this afternoon for a movie.

We went and saw The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus. It was really good, despite/because of the fact that it was extremely confusing. All the characters had their own personalities and behaved fairly realistically, albeit very childishly and humorously. Lol it was also pretty refreshing to watch a movie that's almost grossly "british", and didn't idealize all-americanism like most other Hollywood abortions-on-film. =]

Winter break is almost over, but I'm not quite done with squeezing all the fun out of it yet. Facetrade tomorrow, then slumber partyyyy-- Super excitement yaaaaaa. >D

Recap Ramblings

Ugh. I've been working every day since Christmas and it's been busier than it has been all year. In fact, December 27 was the busiest day of the year, with over 7000 stupid people through Silvershitty doors. I saw about a half a dozen people I knew that night, and someone else happened to see me, coincidentally, while I was knee-deep in popcorn and sweat and tears. Sigh I always have the bestest/ugliest moments right when I also happen to be the most impressionable. I wish I was just pretty all the time, no more and no less. But more badass, because nobody sees me as anything more than an innocent little Asian girl, and that sucks total ass because people think they can take advantage of you since you don't know English. =/

I realized that this one guy whom I've served popcorn to on numerous occasions also happens to do piercings and tattoos for many of the girls at Silvershitty. I'd love to be one of those skankazoids. I've been talking to Sahar all day and I found out about all these good deals they get from this guy. He happens to be a total pervert but then again he only charged her $40 for a tongue piercing! I'd love to get a tongue piercing for $40! We sorta made plans to go get them from him come the end of January; I'll get a tongue piercing (and maybe sternum) and she'll get a tattoo with microdermals on her hip. I think I'd want to meet this guy first of all but it pretty much seems like a done deal. I'm super excited to get everything done, and even though I feel like slapping myself for becoming a materialistic bitch, I fall right back into this strange state of mind. At least I don't love Taylor Lautner...

I'm so fucking behind in school. I have to finish reading two books, reread Oedipus, draw a political cartoon for History, and learn Solutions from Chem 11. NONE OF THOSE THINGS ARE DONE. And I already made plans for every day in the next five days before school starts again. I feel a little overwhelmed when I think about it, but then again, I don't really think about it. Self-discipline should be so much more important to me, but everything else is pretty damn important too, like this sweater I'm gonna buy off Facebook which will make me feel like a teddy bear. That's pretty effing important, guys. xD

Stalkers, how have your winter breaks been?

Why Avatar Sucked Ass -spoilers-

I finally caved into peer pressure from all around (friends, Facebook, movie-goers at work) and went to see Avatar earlier tonight. I had to sit waaaay up front (not only because someone was late) due to the immense popularity it's enjoyed since its premiere. I came into the theatre with huge expectations since I've yet to hear anything bad about the movie. I knew that the plot was going to be a bit thin but it didn't seem to bother anyone else who'd seen it, and I've read reviews by people whom I thought were just as discriminating as I.

As the movie began to unfold, I was enthralled by the graphics, like woweezorz. But of course, everyone was wowee-ing over it, which is why it was so strongly anticipated. I even gave up checking out the hot guy sitting near me in order to give it my full attention. Unlike others, however, I didn't find myself to be within the story. I pretty much had the entire plot mapped out in my head before I even got to the theatre, so it was kind of hard to connect with the characters and allow the story to emotionally move me. I mean, the avatar guy clumsily makes way into Na'vi community, him and blue girl are forced together, girl falls for him, guy falls for Na'vi way of life, betrays his own people, they go to war, they co exist happily ever after for some reason. Aren't all movies like that?

They totally are and I forgot it was the reason why I hardly ever watch movies.

I couldn't even enjoy the amazing 3D-ness for the latter half because the story was just so BAD. Everything about it pissed me off: how the avatar guy got so mature and Superman all of a sudden, how the girl went from wise to slutteeehhhh for avatar guy, how the Earth-people started becoming more and more evil and the Na'vi more accepting, and how amazingly unrealistic everything is, like how the good guys just don't ever seem to die already. I think that if they only showed the movie up to halfway when the Earth-people ran the bulldozers and the Na'vi were all sad, Avatar would have had a perfect ending to a great movie. It would have exhibited a story not unlike our treatment of the North American native people and reinforced what we should have learned from its history. Instead, we end up watching the Na'vi rise up against the bad Earth people because the Na'vi are a far superior race (heil aryan avatar?) and they manage to vanquish Earth people's fighter jets with bows and arrows and dragons because they're more in touch with nature? WAT THE SHIT?!

In conclusion, if you're a fan of Disney/Robin Williams/Tim Allen/bad actors, you will love/would have loved this movie. If you're a hopeless romantic and you genuinely believe that love will conquer all, Avatar will confirm that belief and make you feel fantastic for the state of humanity.

On the other hand, if you're Jamie or one of the few who are somewhere close, this movie will kick you in the nuts like no other. Actually it kicks you in the same manner as most other happy-ending cheesy movies do, but Avatar will kick you repeatedly for three fucking hours, in 3-D!!1! You will experience quite the soreness upon leaving the theatre, with intense urges to laugh, vomit, and blow up all at the same time. I think my first words were something like "BWAHAHAHAHAAAA THAT WAS THE WORSTEST MOVIE EVERRR OMG IT WAS SOOO HORRIBLE SHIIIIBAAAAAHHH" and then I got dirty looks from everyone else, probably because the movie was actually quite great in reality.

And that is a brief description of my feelings towards the movie Avatar. Please comment on how wrong I am like everyone else has been doing, by clicking on the comment link below.

Aww... <3

I just sat down in the back of the 169 on my usual way to work when a large, very scary man with many many piercings and fierce green hair, came and sat in the row across from me. He gave me the most menacing stare I've ever had the pleasure of receiving, and every time my eyes met his, my gaze would dart away as if it burnt to look there. I was a little frightened since he kept looking over, and I kept pondering whether it was too late to change seats. Of course it was; he'd know it was because I got offended from his looks and happened to be rude enough to flee. Why did he keep looking over?!

After a couple of stops he leaned over towards me, and held out his cell phone to show me the screen. It read "YOU ARE SUPER PRETTY. :)"

And my face scrunched up in embarrassment and joy, turned the shade of eggplant, as I feebly mouthed a thank-you. For the rest of the ride to work, I couldn't look at him. I turned away and pretended to sleep, resentful that I didn't return the favour and write something on my phone back to him, remorseful that it was much too late and would make me seem like I was trying to flirt.

I tried to say goodbye before getting off, but he was talking on the phone and didn't look my way. The guilt still rides on my mind as I am in debt to his acknowledgement. It proves to me that I'm very socially-awkward, even though I kept trying to tell myself otherwise. I admire him greatly for the balls to show me how he feels, because it's something I've yet been able to pull off. I can't even talk to a stranger on the bus without looking like one of those frustrating esl people who can only nod their heads eagerly at every sentence you say. I'm no different, and I thought I was better, and I wish I'll encounter that scary man again, so I can redeem my will to speak confidently, stranger or friend.

And I know it will be as big of a failure as this time.

Goatse

Can't talk for long.

I'm in the middle of an intense orgy atm.

Darrell is going to make a move on my bony lap if I get lucky enough.

Can't freaking wait.

[note: skip to 1:55]

Goddammit

I did something really stupid

last Thursday night.

Everyone knew and was shocked upon the knowledge

but I didn't think twice about it

despite the constant nagging reminders I get.

I kept saying

these things happen, and they pass, and people forget about them.

I was incredulous when people told me I'd be wrong.

NOW I'VE BEEN PROVED WRONG.

NOW THIS MEMORY HAUNTS ME

MOCKS ME

AND THE NAGGING GUILT THAT SITS IN THE CORNER OF THE CLASS NOW COMES WITH E V I D E N C E.

There are fucking pictures on Facebook.

itslikeivebeen slapped intheface witha tire iron.

2012

Today, I saw the film 2012. Almost everybody on the entire face of the earth dies in this movie; John Cusack and his offspring do not.

FML

I've never been so ashamed of my weight

I was so excited to donate blood today, and I bounced in my seats in the van on the way, the waiting room, and at the desk where they pricked my finger to see whether the drop of blood would sink (it sunk quite nicely). The questionnaire was so funny, and I giggled when it asked whether I had been in contact with monkeys and their urine. I bounced in my chair, waiting to be called on for fun and exciting question-time. Unfortunately, I only got as far as "How much do you weigh" and failed. Nobody told me you had to weigh at least 110 lbs. to donate blood! I was disappointed and I slunked away to go eat cookies with Dustin, who also got rejected because he had the sniffles.

After eating a buttload of cookies and feeling ashamed of myself, Sarah comes stumbling over and groaning loudly right after she finishes donating blood. She started crying about how she couldn't see and even though she is normally brown, she appeared to have a grayish pallor. I was all worried and scared she would puke on me and Dustin started backing away from the table while tons of elderly nurses came flying out of nowhere to rescue her with ice and helpful instruction. As I left the room in discomfort the shuttle driver came out chuckling and explaining that it happens all the time to people who are smaller in size. I returned home pondering whether I'll actually make the effort to gain that extra ten pounds so I could get my own sticker and pin, and the privilege to eat cookies in pride rather than shame.

On the other hand, if I gained any more weight, I'd look horrendous. =/

On a completely different note, I am choked up that even though I would have scored an A on the Socratic seminar today, I and everyone else who was chosen to speak today flunked it because Miles did not speak once. He was the one who picked my name out of the hat to speak today, he was the one who kept staring at me like a fucking retard throughout the discussion, and then he fails me for putting up with it and gives me that stupid smile like oh well, you still love me right??? <3 Miles, I don't. Nobody does. Try again, or at least try ONCE. Jesus.

HAHAHAHA

Click to enlarge.

What a lame dance

And I'd been so excited at first... I wanted to hit the dance floor even before everyone else arrived. I suppose self-consciousness held me back, but it was soon replaced with the overwhelming annoyance that the next couple of minutes passed with about two hundred people through the threshold. The decor that once yielded a serene escape now holds shelter to a bajillion teenagers awkwardly swaying around. The temperature and humidity rose to heights uninhabitable for man, and yet we looked so nice in our dresses so we had to stay and try our best to dance to fucking Lil' Wayne and whatnot.

The music sucked balls. Their second song was D.A.N.C.E. and it went downhill from there. Did a fucking nosedive all the way down to where the mole people live. I can't even stress enough how disappointed I was. They did play a bit of techno, but the floor was too crowded to properly dance. And the middle of that hot steaming jungle (not Anthony's mom's) is not the best place to dance, contrary to popular belief.

Siiiighhh... and it was all I really wanted to do. I left Winter Ball absolutely furious because I really did expect it to be so much better. I realize now that instead of making all that effort to organize, I should have just beat up the fucking DJ.

Or maybe I'm just mad because I didn't get to dance with the person I wanted to.

Haha and didn't this happen last time? I should be more assertive. =]

After tomorrow...

All the weeks leading up to the excitement will finally draw to a close.

All the nights spent after school, the hands we dirtied, the paint we wasted, the people we bothered, the food we ate, and the memories we made-

They will be relived, revived, and among all the drunk and horny teenagers grinding their way through the lineup of cheap radio hits, we will reminisce of the progressive creation of this fantastical microcosm. We will hold ourselves accountable for whatever outcome tomorrow night will undergo, because the lies we've told and the classes we skipped were soley meant for its welfare...

Well not really, since we mostly slacked off and gossiped and ate, but it still better be the bestest Winter Ball ever ever. How could you not feel responsible for something you've been using as your excuse to hang out for the past couple weeks? I even had to stop myself a couple times from referring to it as "my dance". =/

Tomorrow is the date of the Winter Ball. I have to go shop for the food, set up decorations, glue on those goddamn gondolas, inflate a bunch of balloons, get ready, take a shitload of pictures, and dance my ass off. I also have to brag to all my friends about what a good job I did on setting all the stuff up. I have to. There is no other way for me to justify myself after all that "work" I did.

After tomorrow, I'll probably feel like I have nothing left to live for. Maybe for replying to Facebook comments since there'll be tens of photos posted up from the night before. But Winter Ball gave me the experience of being useful. After tomorrow, I'll no longer have an excuse for not doing my homework, and Chambers will no longer be nice to me in spite of my obvious over-eating. Life will seem dull and listless, with no more prospects to look foward to. As much as I am overjoyed in anticipation for tomorrow, I am dreading whatever will follow.

On a slightly lighter note, there is one thing I'm sort of looking foward to that follows Winter Ball. I'm gonna go donate blood on Monday and I really really hope it will be an adventure! =D I wonder if they allow cameras in the clinic?

Art phail?

It's kind of sad how this is the finished product.

Thought we would have done so much better.

Sigh. Should have taken a picture of the painting so far. Hope it's beautiful by Monday.

What the hell...

Tonight is going down in the books as one of the most memorable nights of my life.

It's a little embarrassing and all too exciting to share over the internet. =/

It was just plain fucking weird.

And I won't be able to see a lot of the people I know in the same way anymore...

Just thought I'd get this down so I'll remember the date, if not entirely what had happened. =D

Bad Timing

I never thought I'd feel like this for you.

Through all the harassment, all the name-calling, manipulation and overall distain towards you, I sympathize now as if I had more respect for you than I could ever have.

Because I'm very, terribly sorry.

First of all, let me apologize for bringing up the subject. I had no idea that you had your arm around him because you were trying to comfort him on his recent "break-up". I thought you guys were just gay with each other. Although the former could very naturally lead to the latter, and may already have, it was wrong of me to assume such a position when you merely looked the part.

Secondly, I regret leading you on to further explain the situation you've unwillingly falsified to stop be from staring at you like a child stares at mating baboons. I could have controlled my facial muscles to express a more subtle tone of absolute fucking horror as you graphically illustrated the predicament at hand, even when you kept going deeper into speculation, my face just stretched to a further degree of distress. I also partly blame Darrell for this, because he seemed pretty choked as well and I couldn't help but mirror his expression. You know how that goes.

Thirdly, I beseech your forgiveness for taking the term "fuck buddy" too literally. I thought it meant something like
n. A sex partner to whom you have no special attachment. A person you occasionally have sex with who is not your S.O. - Urban Dictionary
I had no idea you meant the term as in um, absolutely nothing. I should have known and I was a fool for believing that you were credible in using such a term.

Lastly, and most importantly, I DEEPLY RESENT TIMMY'S PRESENCE. If he hadn't been there, and if Brandon Wong hadn't passed by in the exact moment, none of this mess would have caught wind and blew down the hallway where the windmill of madness stood forth. If your group of friends didn't happen to walk by the very moment Timmy brought Brandon Wong into a questioning fit, the truth wouldn't have been nudged awake and you wouldn't have blushed so hard when we all found out how untrue/partly-true/very true it was.

It was probably just a fluke. Bad timing had screwed us all. But as I saw your heart break I realized how much I actually cared that it did, and I just wrote this post to document my confusion because it is fucking up my sense of practicality worse than rumours did yours. The worst thing is that though it may appear otherwise, I hardly feel a note of sarcasm as I pour out my apologies to you. I thank the heavens everyday that I am much too apathetic for this to remain anything but temporary.

And if my guesstimation is correct, I apologize in advance for not making good on those DQ Blizzards I promised you. xD

(Remind me just in case?)

Productivity

For the past week or so, I've been putting off school, work, social life, ignoring them almost completely. Instead, I've been:

Napping.

Eating.

Drawing & Painting.

Texting... =/

Sucking up to teachers.

Pissing the hell out of Chambers.

Pissing the hell out of Chaput and the Cho-ster.

Doing the trig-dance.

Daydreaming.

Not blogging.

Making beautiful art.


Sadly, it's a lot more productivity than what I usually come up with.

English Bay Layout

I made the header out of a photograph of English Bay I took last last summer.

Sigh and those were the good old days, when stress was meaningless and cupcakes weren't fattening.

Maybe it's time to snap out of my reverie and get back to life.

Maybe not.

but i don't want to

My parents keep implying to me that I'll never get anywhere in life if I don't make up my mind on what to do.

They kept pushing me to decide what I want to do with my life, and when I'd pick something, they'd fall back and make fun of me for being too stupid to pick something professional.

I've thought it too many times through and my mind has never actually changed. And now it brings me to tears because they have no idea what it is I really want.

I DON'T WANT TO DO ANYTHING.

I don't want to grow up and leave to pursue my own life. I don't want to apply for scholarships, keep up with homework, work for high grades and course credits, graduate, go to university, hand out resumes, get a promotion, climb the corporate fucking ladder. I don't want my own life. I don't want to make my parents proud. They can go fuck themselves.

And I'd much rather live in my parents' basement for the rest of my life than raise my own children.

What do I really want to do with my life? What I've been doing this whole time. I just want to make my webpage, play with cell phones, camwhore, eat junk food, take the bus, shop online, read novels, drink tea, be taken care of, and be content. I'm so happy with my life. I don't want to be independent. I'm not after anything.

AND DOES THAT MEAN I'M A FUCKING FAILURE?!



it does.

RA-RA-RASPUTIN

HE COULD PREACH THE BIBLE LIKE A PREACHER

FULL OF ECSTASY AND FIRE

BUT HE WAS ALSO THE KIND OF TEACHER

WOMEN WOULD DESIRE

Dayum, girl

I was on the skytrain, coming home from Vancouver. I was squinting in the sunlight and tried to look at my reflection from the plastic panel in front of the seat before me. I also saw the girl in front of me, and she looked at my face through the plastic panel as well. I thought she suspected me of staring at her so I leaned backwards and settled back in my seat.

She suddenly whirled around and looked in my direction, but I averted my eyes as she did so so she wouldn't think I was being a creeper. She turned back, but whirled around again and looked at me directly in the eye and started speaking to me in Mandarin. I was all shocked and said like "sorri sorri me no tok tok" and she just laughed and said "Sorry I just wanted to ask you something. I'm a design student for fashion and I'm looking for models for my work. I noticed how you did your makeup and I was wondering if you'd be ineterested in being one of them."

I think I was holding up the most reeetarded facial expression while she spoke to me. I thought she was very pretty, though she almost wore no makeup, and I got all jealous at her perfect skin. I hardly listened to her at all. I ended up just nodding a couple times and she gave me a piece of paper for me to put down my number and email. I smiled awkwardly and introduced myself, shook her hand before she abruptly left the train. She departed and I was left realizing that the whole crowded train was still eyeing me. All I could respond with was the biggest smirk on my face because a hot girl just asked me for my number, bitchessss.

Halloween Sucks

They're adorable when they're young.
Females everywhere ogle them with aww's and coos of affection.
Candy-coated saturations and squealing
"They're so cute! Look at their little costumes!"
And the vinyl pumpkins crack giddy grins.
They sustain on such love and praise.
They're royalty in the eyes of emotional individuals.

But they grow up.
The sweet petite princess is now
Pissing on the pavement.
In my driveway, a box social takes place
With the flaps wide open.
And her jester eagerly shatters my glass
So she would crack a smile.

She's royalty in the eyes of inebriated individuals.
I'm cleaning up her royal mess.
It would be my born duty,
'Cause I lack the grace and beauty
In applying a condom like she does.
Unable to lick my wounds among all else,
I pick the shards by the fistful.

I'm a peasant in the eyes of equitable individuals.
My spirit is ignited, not by ethanol
But by the unshed tears
That bitterly ferments within
For I can't afford the former.
I gingerly brush away the crystals
And wallow in the sting of its scratches.

I'll be cold tonight,
And awaiting the culprit to lay with her.
And he would have deserved it.
For the hole he left between my eyes and soul
Are as big and as dark
As her gaping vagina.

A love letter from a desperate girl

Je t’ai vu au ciné aujourd’hui.

Je travaillais mais je puvais aperçevoir ta figure et ton corps.

J’étais mal polie de voir pour longtemps, et je savais que tu m’as aperçu aussi. Je pensais que tu avais l’air très joli.

J’ésperais que tu as acheté du café ou quelque chose. Nous nous serions parlés et je te souviendrais comme je déjà oublie ce que tu as l’air.

Viens-y-toi la semaine prochaine. Je n’ai te ferai pas payer. Tu peux me payer avec ton numéro, ou seulement ton nom.

Tu es juste trop s e x y. Et je deviens folle. Je suis en retard. xD


(Btw don't use fucking Babelfish on this because it'll sound even more retarded. D:)

Saw VI

I went to the theatres last afternoon
Ate some ice cream with a plastic spoon
Took his hand, and skipped the talk
It was half past four on the cellular clock
We ascend the quiet stairs
Jumped into those broken chairs
The lights grew dim but the screen ignites
And cries and shouts of the Scream Queen bites
Look to my left; he's sitting still
Ask in wonderment of the temple drill
"Are you sure you can handle the gore?
This type of movie you'd sure abhor."
He shrugs and laughs "I will be fine.
I've seen and lived through ones of this kind."
The drills, they wake; the couple bleeds
Their game begins for survival heeds
The greater pound of flesh can save
His or her chance from the grave
He slices stomach into a cleft
And retching breaks out from my left (Hah stupid Nathan :p)
She cuts her forearm but she cries
When the will to do so, life denies
Their affliction gains when the timer clicks
And deeper penetrate the metal sticks

He was three fat slices in

Against her none, an easy win

Her forfeit rivaled one more try
Took the butcher knife's rely
Though he was fatter than a whale
She shoved her whole arm on the fucking scale!

AND I

JIZZED

IN

MY PANTS.


It was a pretty sick movie. :D

Stop sending my naughty pics to my dad

Goddammit k.cober@hotmail.com, I can't believe it's because of you that my mom was so close to having the talk with me tonight.

It's sad because my parents really don't even care. My dad took one look at the pictures before he deleted the email entirely. They're hardly even sure if one of the photos was of me at all.

And it's a cheap shot that the other picture would come from Winter Ball.

Stephanie took the photos for us to enjoy the night where we had fun with the bandies, and the bandies knew that Alvin was the nicest Mormon kid ever; it's unfair (mostly to Alvin) to send a picture of the two of us for my parents to think we were sluts.

Overall, your pictures did little to no harm, but the notion didn't come without such annoyance that my mother felt the obligation to tell me about it anyway. I had no idea before that you were sending emails to my daddy still, nonetheless regularly, and I suppose this was the event to lead to my awareness of such. I'm really tired, k.cober@hotmail.com, both physically and of your childishly melodramatic behaviour. My parents have too much trust in me to believe any of your superficial lies, and whatever half-assed truths you might think are contained in photographs. They know I'm a good kid, that I don't party, do drugs, drink, or do promiscuous things with boys. It's just too difficult to bend such an inflexible truth, even more so to prove it wrong.

I know you won't stop, but I'm asking you to. It'd benefit us both if you found an easier target, like someone who wears foundation (coughtammy). =]

New hair

Jamie has brown hair now.

No more blonde jokes.

Updates updates

A couple of updates on my LIIIFEEEE. >_>"
Readers, get away from this post nao unless you're a major stalker because I don't intend on making this entry terribly funny. And why would you read it if it wasn't funny and you weren't a stalker? Somebody must be lying to himself one way or another. =]

I already miss making exciting posts but I just can't seem to squeeze any out of myself recently. Yeah, amusing things do happen at school every once in a while, but it's never often or groundbreaking enough for me to remember documenting it. While these moments provide a cheap, expected thrill, they're always ultimately tossed out like so many wads of Kleenex and premature ejaculate. When we hit a dry spell of these little pick-me-ups, we just end up trying to induce them with heavier doses of slippery humour, which ends up over-stimulating our senses for wit and disables us from ever finding a real girlfriend. =_=

It's made me lose a lot of my previous interest in socializing. I still get the yearning every once in a while to make a new friend and explore personalities, but it all seems more superficial to me now. Half the time I could easily tell I'm only doing it to prove to myself that the person I'm taking to wants to date me; half of those times I know I'm only grossly flattering myself. Did I really go blonde just so people would notice me more? This introspection only leads to deeper, uglier ones, and I'll leave it at the fact that my hair is completely fried to a crisp as my sake of dyeing it. I haven't done it yet, probably sometime this or next week. It's gonna go brunette, but I'm not exactly sure about the shade it will turn out to be. As much as I'll miss being a shiny blonde Asian bitch, I'm excited for the change.

My work life has already changed quite a bit since school started. I've reduced my number of shifts to about one a week. I'm usually scheduled for two, but then I just call in sick all the time. =_= I wonder how long I'll be able to get away with it? This new Asian manager guy at my work is on to me, I think. He's always asking me questions about like, idk stuff. =/ Haha but all my work friends say he's just trying to hit on me?! Awkward... Anyhoo, I've applied at Sears last weekend (along with everyone else), and Kumon last week. I don't expect to get hired at Sears but I have high hopes of working at Kumon since Tammy works theree and it'll be pretty sweet to be working there with another Asian nerdzo who can tell kids to shut up with me, erm I mean help them. >D I was sooo very disappointed this afternoon when Tammy breathlessly told me on the phone that the HR lady wanted me for an interview tonight before she leaves for a week, but I had to go take that Chem quiz and couldn't make it. Dx I hope she'll still remember me next week when she comes back. -cross fingers-

My parents have been treating me like shit lately. At first I was completely flabbergasted at their indifference towards me, and then I was simply hit with a brick in the face when I found out that it was because I didn't choose to become an engineer or a doctor when I grew up. They sounded so sure of themselves when they told me straight up that I will never get a good job studying English or any artsy-fartsy media whatever (lol they don't even try to understand what I'm interested in). They found out that I'm planning on studying English and Journalism next year and since then they've gone apeshit. Not like Kanye West apeshit, but like passive-agressive mother-in-law apeshit. Like, they won't smile at me anymore. It obviously wouldn't have changed my mind on the course of my life, but it's definitely put a weight on my light-heartedness towards it. Now I'm not really interested in anything anymore. Not in science because I don't kiss ass, but not in anything else because I don't like defying ass either. D':

I'm still finding little enjoyments along the way, but life seems pretty hard lately.

Below Freezing pt. II

The war between the lesbo-mosquitoes and I weren't over by my last entry. I was still being hassled with the chore of going on a rampaging massacre every night to kill the little vampire beasts. They seemed to get stronger and louder every night with the consumption of my blood, and I realized I had to get rid of them as soon as I could before they became utterly indestructable. O_O I still got squeamish and shaky after killing them, so don't expect me to exterminate for you, but I got pretty good at finding them after a while. I could easily spot where they were hiding and hear where they were going. I started making my mom and dad kill them for me, and to my surprise, they enthusiastically obliged, proving once again that being a whiny little bitch can make your problems go away. My dad had this brilliant idea of getting all the ones up on the ceiling with the Swiffer broom. He ended up squishing all of them into the ceiling, and then there were a bunch of little brown pancakes with legs on my ceiling before I could convince my mother to wipe them off for me. =/ As I had oh-so-ingeniously predicted, they stopped returning after a while. Even the lesbo-boss-mosquito (that was in my room for like five days and wouldn't leave) was gone, and now I'm back to resting in sanity. Huzzah! =DD


I was also gonna rant about some stress and pms-whatnots but somehow Blogger deleted everything after this paragraph because it doesn't know how to close a fucking tag using HTML. This part is better anyway. Someone should do something funny at school or other. I'm running out of material for funny posts. :(

It's like below freezing

Starting from yesterday there's been a dramatic change in our weather pattern - it used to always be gorgeously sunny and warm, and now we're overcast with a 30% chance we've already frozen our balls off. Especially in the short time it took to reach a temperature like this, it feels like it's below freezing.

And yet there are three fucking happy mosquitoes living in my room right now.

They've been there since maybe a week or so after school started. Perhaps earlier, but I never noticed them until I finally heard their buzzing drone while trying to sleep one night. And since then I haven't been able to stop hearing them. I thought they must not like shutting up when they're hungry. The day after their discovery, I cornered one of them and had a good look at how he was doing. I observed that they were actually fed quite well, and the newfound itching around my body was there to prove it.

Naturally, I went all Rambo-like and tried to hunt down every last one of the offending parasites. They're freaking hard to catch. They probably ingested the awesomeness-cells found in my bloodstream and turned into some kind of Sonic X-men shit. I ended up having to get mommy to help me but she simply waved her hand and caught like three of them in one go. She's so good at killing bugs. I wish I had her Master Wu-Guei skills but I'm too scared shitless to kill or even touch them. =_=

I finally slept a peaceful night after that, but I didn't expect it to be so short-lived. They somehow returned the very next night, and in greater numbers - there were five of them that time. And that was only in my temp. bedroom. There were two in my old room and one in my bathroom on top of that. I'm finding mosquitoes everywhere, both dead and alive. I was freaked out. It reminded me of that movie 300 (or the les bos episode of South Park xD) where Leonidas owned those messengers down the bottomless pit, but a few escaped to tell the super-lesbo-boss what happened. Well, the super-lesbo-mosquito was sure as hell pissed and sent like ten of her best annoyances down to avenge her dead relatives. (Lol who knows, maybe they did come in generations.) They also seemed bigger and stronger than before. My mom and I took forever catching them one night, after a couple days of them thriving in my house and I could no longer take the suffering, and when we thought we had conquered the last of them, I would contently go to bed only to have the high-pitched whining return somehow.

They're driving me crazy, and though I've killed a good fifteen or so in the past couple of weeks, I still don't like the thought of touching them, and can only cope by knowing the inevitability that the weather is cooling and they'll stop bothering me until next spring. (I don't recall ever having a mosquito problem in this house before, though.) The past couple of days has made that knowledge much shakier than before, and the hope I had for the near future is now dread for the present. The temperature is dropping significantly and it seems like everyone is dying out except for these damn itchy-nipple makers. D<

It's like below freezing and they're still here. I've only counted five of them today, in total. Three of which are keeping me company as I type this right now (maybe more). I'm still gonna keep telling myself that one day, very soon, they'll start going away. But until I assert myself to continue getting rid of them, or my awesomeness-cell count goes down, the time that they're still here will still make my life hell until they leave.

LOL @Tammy

Adrienne celebrated her birthday today. Hope she has a great seventeenth year of life.

She took Tammy, Patricia, Billy and I out to Nagano Sushi. The girls started gossiping about some asian lg (whom I don't know) at Tammy's Chinese school.

Tammy: -blah blah blah- ...but I love her boots.
Everyone else: -looks at each other in flabbergast-
Jamie: Did you just say you loved her boobs?!
Tammy: What?! NO, her BOOTS.
Adrienne: -laughing to Jamie- That's what I thought she said too.
Patricia: Yeah she probably does love her boobs...
Tammy: But they're so nice! They're like that Indian style. =D
Everyone else: -stifle giggles-
Tammy: They're like the ones I have but they're better. It's like brown...
Everyone else: Hahahahaha! Indian and brown...
Tammy: =/ Um yeah, and they've got like those whiskers on them. *U*
Everyone else: BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!1

E.l.f. Haul

This is what I mean when I say I'm TERRIBLE with money.

I think I ordered this mess of unnecessary beauty products like ten days ago from EyesLipsFace. Here's a list of all the crap I got (numbers correspond to labels in the picture if you enlarge it by clicking):

1. Shimmering Facial Whip
2. Eyeliner & Shadow Stick
3. Under Eye Concealer & Highlighter
4. Shielding Hydro Tint SPF 15
5. Perfect Tweezers
6 and 7. Brightening Eye Color
8. Complexion Brush
9. Cucumber Melon Body Butter
10. Mineral Eyeshadow Primer
11. Nourishing Cuticle Pen
12. Concealer Pencil & Brush
13. Water Resistant Liquid Eyeliner
14. Natural Lash Kit
15. Contouring Blush & Bronzing Powder

Holy shit.

So yeah, when my mom yelled up the stairs while I was taking a nap that I had received a package in the mail, I was so ecstatic that I strained my tired eyes to open and lumbered out of bed clumsily to fetch it from her. But when I opened everything up and did a small test run of all the products, I wasn't that super impressed with anything except the Blush & Bronzing Powder. I already knew I was going to love that one since I heard it was almost exactly like NARS Deep Throat and Laguna (which costs about $25-30 each), and I actually ordered two of those to stock up. =] I'm excited to try out the shadows, since I threw out most of the really bright colourful ones I own, and the new Eyeshadow Primer is finally a necessity I have for those shadows. I haven't opened up the Body Butter yet but I heard it smells really good. I think I'm gonna bring it to school and slather it on all the time since fall/winter is coming. The whole package cost around $40 I think, but it's not bad considering they make you pay like $15 on shipping alone. It's outrageous but I guess that's what you get for living with polar bears up here in Canada.

And on a completely separate-but-not-really note:
I'm laughing aloud as I type this now... Is anyone going to want to read posts about makeup? I don't think these kind of posts are going to make people laugh, vomit, or blow up. And it's gonna suck of people don't care enough to keep reading. idk, I'm torn between the fact that the blog is personal and the fact that I'm writing for people to actually read it. =/ If you have any opinions, whether or not raging, you should tell me what to write about. =]

The bestest day in a long time

It's almost 2am and I have to wake up early tomorrow for work but I made a promise to myself that I will blog about this now, so the euphoria of a great day's past would have yet faded into meh-ness.

I spent the former portion of the afternoon with my parents. After a stressful first week of school, I was more than ready to sit back and let somebody else take the bill for once. And my beloved mommy and daddy did - they took me shopping. =D It's kind of sad but I was ecstatic when they finally bought me a set of tupperware and a new thermos for tea. =/ Maybe it was just because it was from Ikea? Nah, that just made it a bonus... So after getting lost a million times and looking at their different jams and eating a truckload of fifty-cent hot dogs, I had to end the fun by going to work. Or at least I thought I did.

I worked on floor, cleaning theatres with Steph. I first realized my pessimistic attitude would turn around when I realized I was working with her. We talked about Band and Mr. Cho and bitched about who-knows-what. It was a relatively slow night, and we had a lot of time to just relax and walk around and chat with a bunch of people who were working as well.

But things were still exciting since most of our movies were 18A and hordes among horeds of underaged tweeners kept running around and trying to get into theatres they weren't allowed in. Amusing for us, since we always had the pleasure of catching them and kicking them out. It's not something I'd normally be comfortable doing. Going into a theatre mid-show and causing a big scene, disrupting the movie for everyone is not always a prideful duty. And big surprise, Ali proved to be our antagonistic comedy-relief of the night. He was ushering people into the theatres and he claimed a group of five kids ran into Final Destination when they had tickets for The Ugly Truth. Steph and I met up with Angela and we offered to cover Ali's post so he could walk them out, but he said
"Noo I don't want to kick people out. You guys do it." Okay.
So the three of us went into the theatre, looked around, and realized we didn't know what the heck these kids looked like, especially since everyone had their 3D glasses on. We walked back out and shoved Ali into the theatre. He came out and said
"Those kids are sitting in the top left corner. They're all sitting together so you can kick them out now. =D" Okay.
So the three of us went into the theatre, saw a group of kids sitting in the top left corner, and Angela and Steph trailed me with cautious giggles as I ascended the stairs and spoke to them.
"Hey, do you guys have your tickets on you?"
"Uhh yeah. Is there a problem?" It was an adult woman's voice.
"Ohhhhh.... um, so you're with those kids, right?" I gestured towards the curious looks of young children to her right.
"Yes. I was with them since we came in." We got the wrong people.
"Whoa, wtf those kids just ran down the stairs!" Steph whispered. And we all turned to see five kids burst down the stairs from the top right corner of the theatre. Peals of giggles erupted from her and Angela as they ran after them. I walked with my head hung in embarrassment, muttering apologies, for myself and the loud laughter and Ali's stupidity. Great.

After my break, Steph and I spent the remainder of the night cleaning ten theatres straight, one after the other. And most of the theatres were packed, with more disobedient underagers here and there, but we no longer participated in their consequences. Basically, we picked up garbage for a whole two hours, except we used no garbage bags. I was incredulous as Steph crouched down and placed every last piece of trash under the seats, so that they neatly fit without being seen. But it worked, beautifully, and we carried the same garbage bag around as if we always had a new one to spare. Added to this innovation, we found bag after bag of candy in the theatres, and we spent maybe a couple minutes after finding each bag just pigging out. It was a super bonus I never find during any other shift. But tonight proved to be super special so it makes sense. =]

Steph and I were given mutual duties after cleaning that were so incredibly easy that we finished an hour before our shifts were over. So to pass the time, we sat around in the pop-room eating candy and pretending to set more garbage bags. Other people from floor started drifting in and soon Mike came over. He sat beside me and started bragging to me about his finding in the theatre.
"Hey I've got a girl-lighter now. =D You know how it's a girl-lighter?"
"How..." And he takes it out of his pocket to show me, and for a second, it became the one thing I desired more than anything.




"=OOOOOOOOOO!!!1!!11!" was my reaction.








"Look how else it can light." And he turns it over and shines a Bat-signal-but-better sign against my hand and my heart was melting for it but I knew he wouldn't give it to me. He eventually did fork it over, heaven-knows-why, but only after a great deal of whining on my part and correctly guessing the color of Flower Cat's bow when he offered the lighter for the answer.

And that was the perfect end to a perfect day.

I'll be hoping for another as soon as possible.

Just can't let it go

Today I learned that the most sensitive depths of ones tolerance can be put to the test in the addition of a previously unknown truth about someone. As human beings, we're all prone to negative thoughts in our imminent prejudgements towards other human beings, but the determining factor in ones level of tolerance actually relies on whether one can refrain from expressing those thoughts. After all, tolerance in modern society seems to mean only that one can pretend to enjoy someones company even after finding out something potentially displeasing to him/her. It's the ability to control ones expression of emotion, which goes beyond the subject of tolerance, but ties in on the visual scale, which is all people really care about. It may not be a dictionary definition, but it's apparent EYE-ARR-ELLE. If you think about it, it really is.

Today I learned that I'm not a very tolerant person.

We had our first school assembly today after B Block, and like pretty much every grade 12 who is not a link leader and/or a loser, I high-tailed along with Michelle, Anthony, and Dickson as soon as we were allowed to quietly march in uniform steps to the gymnasium for slaughter by boredon. We walked over to Starbucks under the peculiarly nice weather and sat 'round a round table to bring forth insightful and heartfelt conversations on life. Like most subjects we encountered in our dialogue, Anthony recited to the last detail on each of his groundbreaking ideas on our futures after graduation. Michelle and Dickson remained quiet the whole time and I, as always, argued heatedly against Anthony after every opinion he stated. A part of our conversation went something like this:

Jamie: Geez I bet you're also the only person who's gonna move out right away too. Why would you want to move in with your brother anyway?

Anthony: Well... why not? I get away from my parents, and it's cheap since I just share the rent with my brother.

Jamie: Because there's no reason for you to move out! Why do you need to get away from your parents anyways? It's not like you don't go home to them every day right now. There's nothing wrong with them. =/

Anthony: Actually, the thing about them is... They say that it would be awkward for me to have sex at their house.

And the shit hits the fan.

The overall reaction at our table to that statement seemed to happen in slow-motion, like one of those Lotto 6/49 ads on TV. I felt the skin around my eyelids stretch as they grew to 20x their normal size. My jaw ached as a cement block took its place and fell with a thud onto the tiles. I saw Michelle awaken from her social slumber as she rose to look in the very moment when Dickson's face scrunched into a paper ball as he burst out laughing. It cued my laughter as well, but it seemed to happen in half-time, as if nothing this funny has ever come along in my lifetime, and it was a moment to be lived slowly. Jackpot. It really did feel like winning the lottery.

Up to this point, one may imagine this as a complete overkill of a reaction to a seemingly-reasonable response. But one would only think that if he/she possessed virgin eyes to Anthony's face and stature. Just saying, he looks like Gretchen from Recess or upon closer inspection, his face is like a banana. It was the way the shock of it hit me: A guy like Anthony talking about this as if he expects to be an expert with the ladies by graduation. Yup, its absurdity was just that extreme.

And if it wasn't that extreme, then God help me because it would no longer be a lack of tolerance I possess. I'd just be cruel.

P.S., I'm just kidding Anthony you are very attractive. Hur hur hur. =D

Grad Year: The beginning of the end

I think this year was the first in which I did not feel the least bit of excitement upon my return to school. And how could I be surprised, things were no different than they were before, at the end of last year.

It was almost like summer never happened, and time had stopped itself the moment school ended, and then began again, exactly where it left off, two months and three weeks later. It really felt like it. During those two months and three weeks, I didn't care all that much for the time. I wasn't constantly pushing the hands on the clock to go forward a little faster. I was on the same side that the time was on for once.

I guess I can't mean that in all complete honestly. Summer school was one of the worst, most villainous hurdles to crawl around in my recent life. But it was short. It didn't seem short while it was raping me down the throat with no. 2 pencils, but it is over now, and as I'm typing this I realize that it is all I can say. It was a heartbreaking waste of my summer, and that's all I'll leave it at for now. Let me age this sour memory, and if it sweetens over time, I will recollect with a kinder mindset. =]

The latter portion of summer was spent trying to make up for lost work hours and sleep hours. But time with my friends and purchases were peppered into every week. I had a great time during the second half of August, but I felt indifferent when it drew to a close, as if I never deserved the time off anyway. It was simply the end of the summer-long pause that imminently dawned closer. I realized I never fully relaxed enough to miss the summer when time would begin again in September, but I'm ready now that school continues once more, as if the monotonous journey through high school never ceased.

I'll live through the next ten months with a hopeful mind, however. If I don't pass every course with flying colours, if I don't get the highest scholarship to university, if I don't break records with my GPA, I'm counting on this year to be more eventful than all the others. I'm counting on my grad year to be the most memorable, treasured year of my teenhood. Fingers crossed on a fantastic ten-month party to come! =D