Caffeine is not my friend

I'm so fucking tired right now.

I had about 3 hours of sleep since last last night. I was working Far Coast and I drank all this coffee and when it came time for bed I couldn't sleep, for once. I stayed up until about 6:30am and then the alarm rang at 9:00am, and I was maaaaad. Dx But it didn't surprise me too much since coffee was supposed to be a stimulant O_O just that they never work on me. I was super sleepy when I got up this morning after a night of reading and surfing random pr0n sites, but I had to get ready, since I was meeting Stanley <33333 this afternoon for a movie.

We went and saw The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus. It was really good, despite/because of the fact that it was extremely confusing. All the characters had their own personalities and behaved fairly realistically, albeit very childishly and humorously. Lol it was also pretty refreshing to watch a movie that's almost grossly "british", and didn't idealize all-americanism like most other Hollywood abortions-on-film. =]

Winter break is almost over, but I'm not quite done with squeezing all the fun out of it yet. Facetrade tomorrow, then slumber partyyyy-- Super excitement yaaaaaa. >D

Recap Ramblings

Ugh. I've been working every day since Christmas and it's been busier than it has been all year. In fact, December 27 was the busiest day of the year, with over 7000 stupid people through Silvershitty doors. I saw about a half a dozen people I knew that night, and someone else happened to see me, coincidentally, while I was knee-deep in popcorn and sweat and tears. Sigh I always have the bestest/ugliest moments right when I also happen to be the most impressionable. I wish I was just pretty all the time, no more and no less. But more badass, because nobody sees me as anything more than an innocent little Asian girl, and that sucks total ass because people think they can take advantage of you since you don't know English. =/

I realized that this one guy whom I've served popcorn to on numerous occasions also happens to do piercings and tattoos for many of the girls at Silvershitty. I'd love to be one of those skankazoids. I've been talking to Sahar all day and I found out about all these good deals they get from this guy. He happens to be a total pervert but then again he only charged her $40 for a tongue piercing! I'd love to get a tongue piercing for $40! We sorta made plans to go get them from him come the end of January; I'll get a tongue piercing (and maybe sternum) and she'll get a tattoo with microdermals on her hip. I think I'd want to meet this guy first of all but it pretty much seems like a done deal. I'm super excited to get everything done, and even though I feel like slapping myself for becoming a materialistic bitch, I fall right back into this strange state of mind. At least I don't love Taylor Lautner...

I'm so fucking behind in school. I have to finish reading two books, reread Oedipus, draw a political cartoon for History, and learn Solutions from Chem 11. NONE OF THOSE THINGS ARE DONE. And I already made plans for every day in the next five days before school starts again. I feel a little overwhelmed when I think about it, but then again, I don't really think about it. Self-discipline should be so much more important to me, but everything else is pretty damn important too, like this sweater I'm gonna buy off Facebook which will make me feel like a teddy bear. That's pretty effing important, guys. xD

Stalkers, how have your winter breaks been?

Why Avatar Sucked Ass -spoilers-

I finally caved into peer pressure from all around (friends, Facebook, movie-goers at work) and went to see Avatar earlier tonight. I had to sit waaaay up front (not only because someone was late) due to the immense popularity it's enjoyed since its premiere. I came into the theatre with huge expectations since I've yet to hear anything bad about the movie. I knew that the plot was going to be a bit thin but it didn't seem to bother anyone else who'd seen it, and I've read reviews by people whom I thought were just as discriminating as I.

As the movie began to unfold, I was enthralled by the graphics, like woweezorz. But of course, everyone was wowee-ing over it, which is why it was so strongly anticipated. I even gave up checking out the hot guy sitting near me in order to give it my full attention. Unlike others, however, I didn't find myself to be within the story. I pretty much had the entire plot mapped out in my head before I even got to the theatre, so it was kind of hard to connect with the characters and allow the story to emotionally move me. I mean, the avatar guy clumsily makes way into Na'vi community, him and blue girl are forced together, girl falls for him, guy falls for Na'vi way of life, betrays his own people, they go to war, they co exist happily ever after for some reason. Aren't all movies like that?

They totally are and I forgot it was the reason why I hardly ever watch movies.

I couldn't even enjoy the amazing 3D-ness for the latter half because the story was just so BAD. Everything about it pissed me off: how the avatar guy got so mature and Superman all of a sudden, how the girl went from wise to slutteeehhhh for avatar guy, how the Earth-people started becoming more and more evil and the Na'vi more accepting, and how amazingly unrealistic everything is, like how the good guys just don't ever seem to die already. I think that if they only showed the movie up to halfway when the Earth-people ran the bulldozers and the Na'vi were all sad, Avatar would have had a perfect ending to a great movie. It would have exhibited a story not unlike our treatment of the North American native people and reinforced what we should have learned from its history. Instead, we end up watching the Na'vi rise up against the bad Earth people because the Na'vi are a far superior race (heil aryan avatar?) and they manage to vanquish Earth people's fighter jets with bows and arrows and dragons because they're more in touch with nature? WAT THE SHIT?!

In conclusion, if you're a fan of Disney/Robin Williams/Tim Allen/bad actors, you will love/would have loved this movie. If you're a hopeless romantic and you genuinely believe that love will conquer all, Avatar will confirm that belief and make you feel fantastic for the state of humanity.

On the other hand, if you're Jamie or one of the few who are somewhere close, this movie will kick you in the nuts like no other. Actually it kicks you in the same manner as most other happy-ending cheesy movies do, but Avatar will kick you repeatedly for three fucking hours, in 3-D!!1! You will experience quite the soreness upon leaving the theatre, with intense urges to laugh, vomit, and blow up all at the same time. I think my first words were something like "BWAHAHAHAHAAAA THAT WAS THE WORSTEST MOVIE EVERRR OMG IT WAS SOOO HORRIBLE SHIIIIBAAAAAHHH" and then I got dirty looks from everyone else, probably because the movie was actually quite great in reality.

And that is a brief description of my feelings towards the movie Avatar. Please comment on how wrong I am like everyone else has been doing, by clicking on the comment link below.

Aww... <3

I just sat down in the back of the 169 on my usual way to work when a large, very scary man with many many piercings and fierce green hair, came and sat in the row across from me. He gave me the most menacing stare I've ever had the pleasure of receiving, and every time my eyes met his, my gaze would dart away as if it burnt to look there. I was a little frightened since he kept looking over, and I kept pondering whether it was too late to change seats. Of course it was; he'd know it was because I got offended from his looks and happened to be rude enough to flee. Why did he keep looking over?!

After a couple of stops he leaned over towards me, and held out his cell phone to show me the screen. It read "YOU ARE SUPER PRETTY. :)"

And my face scrunched up in embarrassment and joy, turned the shade of eggplant, as I feebly mouthed a thank-you. For the rest of the ride to work, I couldn't look at him. I turned away and pretended to sleep, resentful that I didn't return the favour and write something on my phone back to him, remorseful that it was much too late and would make me seem like I was trying to flirt.

I tried to say goodbye before getting off, but he was talking on the phone and didn't look my way. The guilt still rides on my mind as I am in debt to his acknowledgement. It proves to me that I'm very socially-awkward, even though I kept trying to tell myself otherwise. I admire him greatly for the balls to show me how he feels, because it's something I've yet been able to pull off. I can't even talk to a stranger on the bus without looking like one of those frustrating esl people who can only nod their heads eagerly at every sentence you say. I'm no different, and I thought I was better, and I wish I'll encounter that scary man again, so I can redeem my will to speak confidently, stranger or friend.

And I know it will be as big of a failure as this time.

Goatse

Can't talk for long.

I'm in the middle of an intense orgy atm.

Darrell is going to make a move on my bony lap if I get lucky enough.

Can't freaking wait.

[note: skip to 1:55]

Goddammit

I did something really stupid

last Thursday night.

Everyone knew and was shocked upon the knowledge

but I didn't think twice about it

despite the constant nagging reminders I get.

I kept saying

these things happen, and they pass, and people forget about them.

I was incredulous when people told me I'd be wrong.

NOW I'VE BEEN PROVED WRONG.

NOW THIS MEMORY HAUNTS ME

MOCKS ME

AND THE NAGGING GUILT THAT SITS IN THE CORNER OF THE CLASS NOW COMES WITH E V I D E N C E.

There are fucking pictures on Facebook.

itslikeivebeen slapped intheface witha tire iron.

2012

Today, I saw the film 2012. Almost everybody on the entire face of the earth dies in this movie; John Cusack and his offspring do not.

FML

I've never been so ashamed of my weight

I was so excited to donate blood today, and I bounced in my seats in the van on the way, the waiting room, and at the desk where they pricked my finger to see whether the drop of blood would sink (it sunk quite nicely). The questionnaire was so funny, and I giggled when it asked whether I had been in contact with monkeys and their urine. I bounced in my chair, waiting to be called on for fun and exciting question-time. Unfortunately, I only got as far as "How much do you weigh" and failed. Nobody told me you had to weigh at least 110 lbs. to donate blood! I was disappointed and I slunked away to go eat cookies with Dustin, who also got rejected because he had the sniffles.

After eating a buttload of cookies and feeling ashamed of myself, Sarah comes stumbling over and groaning loudly right after she finishes donating blood. She started crying about how she couldn't see and even though she is normally brown, she appeared to have a grayish pallor. I was all worried and scared she would puke on me and Dustin started backing away from the table while tons of elderly nurses came flying out of nowhere to rescue her with ice and helpful instruction. As I left the room in discomfort the shuttle driver came out chuckling and explaining that it happens all the time to people who are smaller in size. I returned home pondering whether I'll actually make the effort to gain that extra ten pounds so I could get my own sticker and pin, and the privilege to eat cookies in pride rather than shame.

On the other hand, if I gained any more weight, I'd look horrendous. =/

On a completely different note, I am choked up that even though I would have scored an A on the Socratic seminar today, I and everyone else who was chosen to speak today flunked it because Miles did not speak once. He was the one who picked my name out of the hat to speak today, he was the one who kept staring at me like a fucking retard throughout the discussion, and then he fails me for putting up with it and gives me that stupid smile like oh well, you still love me right??? <3 Miles, I don't. Nobody does. Try again, or at least try ONCE. Jesus.

HAHAHAHA

Click to enlarge.

What a lame dance

And I'd been so excited at first... I wanted to hit the dance floor even before everyone else arrived. I suppose self-consciousness held me back, but it was soon replaced with the overwhelming annoyance that the next couple of minutes passed with about two hundred people through the threshold. The decor that once yielded a serene escape now holds shelter to a bajillion teenagers awkwardly swaying around. The temperature and humidity rose to heights uninhabitable for man, and yet we looked so nice in our dresses so we had to stay and try our best to dance to fucking Lil' Wayne and whatnot.

The music sucked balls. Their second song was D.A.N.C.E. and it went downhill from there. Did a fucking nosedive all the way down to where the mole people live. I can't even stress enough how disappointed I was. They did play a bit of techno, but the floor was too crowded to properly dance. And the middle of that hot steaming jungle (not Anthony's mom's) is not the best place to dance, contrary to popular belief.

Siiiighhh... and it was all I really wanted to do. I left Winter Ball absolutely furious because I really did expect it to be so much better. I realize now that instead of making all that effort to organize, I should have just beat up the fucking DJ.

Or maybe I'm just mad because I didn't get to dance with the person I wanted to.

Haha and didn't this happen last time? I should be more assertive. =]

After tomorrow...

All the weeks leading up to the excitement will finally draw to a close.

All the nights spent after school, the hands we dirtied, the paint we wasted, the people we bothered, the food we ate, and the memories we made-

They will be relived, revived, and among all the drunk and horny teenagers grinding their way through the lineup of cheap radio hits, we will reminisce of the progressive creation of this fantastical microcosm. We will hold ourselves accountable for whatever outcome tomorrow night will undergo, because the lies we've told and the classes we skipped were soley meant for its welfare...

Well not really, since we mostly slacked off and gossiped and ate, but it still better be the bestest Winter Ball ever ever. How could you not feel responsible for something you've been using as your excuse to hang out for the past couple weeks? I even had to stop myself a couple times from referring to it as "my dance". =/

Tomorrow is the date of the Winter Ball. I have to go shop for the food, set up decorations, glue on those goddamn gondolas, inflate a bunch of balloons, get ready, take a shitload of pictures, and dance my ass off. I also have to brag to all my friends about what a good job I did on setting all the stuff up. I have to. There is no other way for me to justify myself after all that "work" I did.

After tomorrow, I'll probably feel like I have nothing left to live for. Maybe for replying to Facebook comments since there'll be tens of photos posted up from the night before. But Winter Ball gave me the experience of being useful. After tomorrow, I'll no longer have an excuse for not doing my homework, and Chambers will no longer be nice to me in spite of my obvious over-eating. Life will seem dull and listless, with no more prospects to look foward to. As much as I am overjoyed in anticipation for tomorrow, I am dreading whatever will follow.

On a slightly lighter note, there is one thing I'm sort of looking foward to that follows Winter Ball. I'm gonna go donate blood on Monday and I really really hope it will be an adventure! =D I wonder if they allow cameras in the clinic?