but i don't want to

My parents keep implying to me that I'll never get anywhere in life if I don't make up my mind on what to do.

They kept pushing me to decide what I want to do with my life, and when I'd pick something, they'd fall back and make fun of me for being too stupid to pick something professional.

I've thought it too many times through and my mind has never actually changed. And now it brings me to tears because they have no idea what it is I really want.

I DON'T WANT TO DO ANYTHING.

I don't want to grow up and leave to pursue my own life. I don't want to apply for scholarships, keep up with homework, work for high grades and course credits, graduate, go to university, hand out resumes, get a promotion, climb the corporate fucking ladder. I don't want my own life. I don't want to make my parents proud. They can go fuck themselves.

And I'd much rather live in my parents' basement for the rest of my life than raise my own children.

What do I really want to do with my life? What I've been doing this whole time. I just want to make my webpage, play with cell phones, camwhore, eat junk food, take the bus, shop online, read novels, drink tea, be taken care of, and be content. I'm so happy with my life. I don't want to be independent. I'm not after anything.

AND DOES THAT MEAN I'M A FUCKING FAILURE?!



it does.